Friday, January 24, 2014

After 11 years it’s time for the curtain call



Time for the curtain call....

In the past few weeks I have been quizzed, interrogated and questioned at length on why I have chosen to pack up my bags and move back to Zimbabwe. There has been disbelief and queries of how I will survive after living in South Africa for so long .However what most of these people do not realize is that the fat lady has sung and it’s time for the curtain call.

The truth is that the diaspora is a beautiful and ugly place. It will entice you , love you , use you , make you question so much , allow you to grow and bring you into yourself . Moving to a new country with not very many people to depend on taught me to be tough and the few nights I slept with very little in my stomach strengthened my resolve to be a successful diasporan.  I remember moving in with a girl I met in church, into a 2 bedroom flat with 8 people .It was in Yeoville .The glasses were shattered and the main door would not close. I remember thinking if my mother ever saw this place she would demand I pack up and move back home .However being the child of the high road I stuck it out. Lesson number one, you will grow or die.

The diaspora taught me to dream. As I sat in early morning traffic on my way to work in Sandton , I would often dream of these fancy places , the homes and beautifully made up women and wonder what it was like to live that well. I remember hearing one lady describe Fourways and from that day I decided I wanted to live in Fourways. A dream was born, it seems fickle but the thought of my own space in a townhouse seemed far-fetched but lesson number two was in session. If you hold onto a dream it will come to pass and true to form I lived in Fourways , in Lonehill for two years.
 
I often thought fitting into the South African society would be easy. Of course the Zimbabwean community is large but almost divided in tiers. South Africa taught me I was a foreigner / kwere kwere.Being light skinned I would often pass for Sotho or Xhosa but the language barrier would often reveal my status as a Zimbabwean. At first it was not an issue then I decided to make a life of myself. When I tried to apply to study they requested 10% deposit because I was a foreigner. When I tried to buy furniture they requested a 20% deposit because I was a foreigner. Roadblocks and walls came up when I proudly produced my green passport with a valid permit. I would apply for jobs and qualify until they asked if I was South African upon my answer ,”No”, they would politely  tell me they could not hire me.  I remember crying on the phone to my mother about how unfair this all was and that is when the diaspora had taught me my third lesson – you are a foreigner .Kusina amai hakuendwi.

In the midst of doors shutting and feeling gloomy I found GOD. My relationship with GOD became very real. HE became a provider .HE became a healer. HE became a friend.  My faith matured and in the midst of the worst situation I would be found on my knees in prayer. When my fridge was empty , you bet I would be on my knees , when I was sick and had no one to look after me I would be on my knees. I survived a chickenpox outbreak with nothing but GOD and calamine lotion. I survived two accidents that could have taken my life but GOD was faithful. In my life to this day GOD is GOD, through the storms and the fire and life, HE has remained the constant.  The diaspora taught me to pray and start a relationship with GOD.

My biggest regret is the sleepless nights I gave my mother as she worried about my well-being. Of course people believe in the land of no rules and you being the king of your castle life is easier. For some maybe but for me my mother has always been my rock. So when I felt down or sad I would phone her and she being the tough cookie that she is , she would often encourage me to be strong but in her voice I would hear the worry. When the xenophobia attacks began I was lucky to be very far from the affected areas but my mother would call daily and ask if I got home safe .When I was sick my mother would call every day to find out if I had taken medication. When I was in the accidents she would call every few hours to ask about the pain and if I felt better. When I cried about my problems and being bullied at work she would read me bible verses.  The diaspora taught me that my mother’s love was enough band aid, painkillers and warmth to get me through anything.

It was not all doom and gloom ,that lesson in dreams birthed Pearls, Heels n Dreams. I would often admire the work other young people where doing via social media and I would want to do something .Then the dream began and was birthed. Through this dream I made amazing friends, met wonderful people and created relationships that feed me to this day. The diaspora taught me that it was about how much I wanted it and how hard I was willing to work for it.It taught me to innovate and step out of my comfort zone. It taught me that a dream is enough to propel you forward.

I learnt to hold onto my morals. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting the next best car or weave or clothes. The thing about your desires in the diaspora is that there is always someone willing to bankroll them, for a price. If you are willing to trade off with the devil then you must be willing to pay the price. I saw a lot of young women lose their dignity and freedom because of this. Offers are made but your morals can be the only thing that keeps you from wanting it all. The diaspora taught me that who I am is not defined by what I have.

I missed out on family celebrations, achievements and the little things. I cannot make up for the time lost but I look forward to other things. Opening the gate when my mother comes home from work , laughing and chatting with my sisters , sitting in the sunshine with my granny as she explains something to me , attending HIFA and going to the Book Café , making time for friends and most importantly growing this beautiful dream called Pearls ,Heels ‘n’ Dreams.

So after 11 years allow me to step out of my comfort zone and begin a new chapter. The lessons I have learnt are endless but as I look back I realize I am stronger, wiser and have grown into a better person. As I pack my bags and sell my furniture I’ve been asked about the friends I leave behind and the relationships I have made .I may miss them and I will cherish them but growth means moving and as the curtain closes on this chapter , I bid the diaspora farewell. After 11 years the fat lady has sung and with my one way ticket in hand, it’s time.
 
 

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Ride or Die


Now this is not a rant or me man bashing anybody. This is to all those brothers playing good women and treating them like fools. Yes I’m talking to you Mr Mood Swings, Mr I’m Going through stuff, Mr I need a break, Mr I’m dealing with stuff and Mr I put a wall up when I’m not ok .Can all you fools convene a meeting and hear me loud and clear .Stop with this nonsenses and stop making good women jump through cartwheels to make you happy. Dammit! Stop messing up good women and playing with their emotions till they are so messed up they can’t love right and they think you are the best there is.Wake up call the angels do not break out in song when you speak .You are a douche bag !!!

Welcome to reality
 

I know good women like great women. Women who have gone hard in their careers , who love GOD , are passionate ,heck they can do all sorts of amazing things behind closed doors , they are beautiful creatures , full of confidence and everything any man would find appealing. I mean the proof is in the number of suitors they often get. Now all is well and good until they meet the douche bags I have mentioned above. As a woman I know how some women love. We love hard, we give it 100%, we spare no expense to see you become the best you can be, we pray for you, we cook for you and we give all we have to prove we are in this for the long haul. We are the ride, end up in jail and die for your ass kind of women. Now when your man is going through stuff it hurts you I mean to say it better in Shona “zvinokushungurudza mumoyo kukushayisa hope “ .This is the human being you have said you will stick by till the bitter end so even if your own family needs something they can wait because your boo is in a bad space.
 


When I am your woman , you will know it , feel it and never doubt it

 
We are often prescribed behaviour of what makes a good woman .Let me share mine that I have heard and been often told I should become:

·         Be supportive (if he wants to fly to the moon mira naye)

·         Be patient ( he may not be Mr Perfect stand naye )

·         Be loving

·         Give him his space

·         Pray for him

·         Stand by him (through everything like EVERTHING if his favourite football team loses mariro chemawo)

·         Allow him to make the decisions (no matter how Miss Independent you are bite your tongue)

·         Be a good cook (Gordon Ramsey plus Tete vako’s mabhonzo ne sadza nemuriwo wenyemba)

·         Be amazing in bed (Karma Sutra meets chikapa meets porn star)

·         Keep fit and look fine (perpetual diets)

·         Commit him to GOD in his plans

·         Want him around but don’t be needy (baffles me to this day how to do this )

Now I have often heard these when I’m with my girls, from older women and at bridal showers. Funny enough I have never come across and extensive list of what makes a good man .So with this trusty list on hand we go hard in the relationship, we put everything we have into this relationship to make it work. Everything means my credit card – you can use that , my car – you can drive that , my house – mi sucasa your sucasa , my body – it’s all yours baby and on top of that I will cook and wash your clothes . We have all done that but you know what? In the midst if you being the ideal ride or die to hell and back chick the brother flips on you.

*the ultimate side eye * What part of the script is this behavior ???
 

Yes love changes, if there was no change there would be no growth .So when the brother starts acting up we raise an eyebrow but give you your “YOU TIME” .Now there is acting up and acting a fool. Somebody explain to me besides the whole male pride  , I am king of the castle cave man mentality ; what part of a normal , adult relationship condones one party shutting the other off because they are going through stuff , are upset , are pissed off or are angry ? Which relationship expert said that was ok? So you retreat to the inner confines of your manly mind and do whatever it is that you do there and I must sit and wait (no period prescribed here it could be a week , a month or however long ) and upon your return throw on my sexy negligee and welcome you back into the confines of our relationship ? Kumusha kure ! Grow up. Once you retreat Mr I need space, stay knowing on your return I will be gone. The phrase man up does not apply to these douche bags they feel the need to man down and you are suddenly both a man and woman.


You turned your back ~ I suggest you keep walking because I have turned mine

 

Enough is flippin enough. Too many good women have had their hearts broken by some douche bag who took all the good qualities for granted and broke a perfectly good woman. Here is the fact no matter how strong a woman is when you put her through such emotional turmoil you break her. You break her confidence, her resilience, her get up and go attitude and her ability to love. I will stand there and tell you go to hell but the scars you leave are deep. It makes you wonder how you went wrong, if you are worth being loved, if you will ever be good enough and if any man will ever love you. So you enter the next relationship with baggage (now no matter what one says men also have baggage) and you give 30% of yourself and the moment something goes wrong, you run.

 
Now my dear sisters, love is an amazing thing but love is not a form of slavery .Love is a choice and you have the power to do just that. If you have loved a man on that ride or die tip I know you look at every brother who likes you with a hint of suspicion. Hold up, not every man is a douche bag and not every man must pay for the sins of another. However in the same breath let’s wake up .If a man goes AWOL for 48hrs if he is not in hospital, dead on his back or in a coma , reality check where was he and who was he with. You need to learn to ask the hard questions and sometimes rock that fairy-tale boat .He cannot waltz in and out of your life like it’s a public toilet pa Mbare . No if he has not communicated then an explanation is needed and if the explanation is silly e.g.:

·         I got robbed and was held hostage by aliens

·         My uncle’s wife’s cousins brother borrowed my car and my phone was inside and he ended up in Mpumalanga and I had no way to contact you so I thought rather he comes back and I use my phone to call you.

·         My pastor told me I should cease all communication with you for 48hrs to prove my commitment to GOD

Then you have on your hands a douche bag. Now you have a choice; forgive him and welcome him back into the confines of relationship bliss or show him the door. You are not desperate .You need to be respected and half the time if you are not requiring it trust me the brother will not give it.  Someone once said, “Men give what is required of them”. So if you like attention please don’t say you don’t because you will be frustrated and nag the poor man to death. Be real .Be you and stop riding and dying for everything that presents itself as a picture of love.  


Be honest enough to define the love you can give and deserve

Don’t be so thirsty for love that you allow abuse to take the place of a healthy relationship. Love yourself enough to know that you a damn good woman (don’t be vain), you are a good partner and you deserve a man who will give his time and respect to you. Too many good women are acting like fools because they take stupid excuses from men who think they have the upper hand. It’s not a game, it’s not a bet, it’s a relationship and you are both human. Stay if you want to, are committed to and desire to make it work. Get out if you are unsatisfied, selfish and cannot function in an adult relationship. Enough is enough. You are all too grown to be acting like this! No one signs up for a heart break and too many good people are missing out on love because one fool decided to be a fool. If all else fails ride and die for Jesus, your dreams and your passion. You deserve happiness sha , no matter what happened you deserve a real love , a good love and real chance at happiness.
You deserve to be loved and be happy and that "me and my boo " pic

 

*drops the mic and exits left *

Sunday, September 1, 2013

The Fall Back Guy


You know sometimes you sit back and a post pops up in your head and its like wow ok I know it’s like sitting on a couch, sipping wine with my girls and we all get it. The fall back guy, the go to guy, the guy or guys we keep in our phones, Facebook pages and Twitter for the relationship rainy days. I seriously think that it’s an epidemic that hits at a certain stage in life. Come on you know the guy I’m talking about.
 
The moment you think of the Fall Back Guy
 

There is a breed of women who spent most of our teenage years marking off the things that made our parents proud of us. We were the perfect daughters and we went to college and university and did well. We have dreams of sitting at the lofty tops of the corporate ladder and being amazing wonder women in our professions. We look good (on purpose) , we eat well , we work out , we have a “fulfilled” life and we are the epitome of the late 20’s early 30’s age group. Though we have life all figured out most of us are in relationships; or single “by choice “; relationships that we have either tailor made ourselves to conform to; relationships we have resolved will end with a ring and relationships that have us wishing that they don’t flare up and burn up in our face because well honestly we are tired of all these hook ups and sometimes hook downs (dating a guy you have no business dating and can’t relate to). We maybe wonder aimlessly in the corridors of relationships cooing over Facebook friends babies and wedding pictures of announcements of engagements all the while in the back of our heads asking ,” So will this ever happen to me ?”

Pass on the happily ever after ...
 
So call us a breed or tribe but we exist. Those of us that find ourselves in “hook downs” often kick ourselves and wonder what we are doing or even in relationships that are seemingly working but we wonder if it will actually work out .Then our whole strong woman –conqueror –corporate ladder facade crumbles. Then as we idly sit in solace with a glass of wine scrolling through our phones , totting about on Facebook or Twitter we realize the existence of the Fall Back Guy.Let me introduce you to this/ these men.

The Fall Back Guy is a guy you may have dated / had a crush on / had a fling with /wish you had dated or an old friend. The Fall Back Guy is the one who makes us feel good about being women. The truth is we know the moment the little “ping” goes off you are standing with your hand on the door of treachery but like Little Red Riding Hood we open the door. The Fall Back Guy brings out the flirt in you, makes you dance to Floetry’s Say Yes, makes you walk into the office swaying your hips and feeling like a feline which exudes this wonderful magnetism. The Fall Guy is the guy that swoops in and wants to save you and tell you how he wishes he had dated you / loved you or married you. There is real chemistry, you chat for hours and you just click.

We are just really good friends ...
 
Now because we are intelligent, grown women we know better than to let this airy fairy liaison with the Fall Back Guy continue because well the history of the matter is we all know this never goes anywhere. So we continue with the Fall Back Guys for certain period and when we are back to our “normal “selves the conversations are less flirty and they are shorter until one morning we don’t need the Fall Back Guy .So we temporarily block him and move on with our lives till the next episode hits us when we need some male affirmation hits us.

So you are probably thinking what weaklings we are but really we are human and as we go through life running after everything else but we lost bits and pieces of ourselves that make our picture perfect lives not perfect. We are not cruel , heartless Delilah’s – we got everything right and the one thing we cannot control or have power over ; LOVE ; brings us to the startling realization that we desire to love , to belong , to submit , to respect and to be owned. I see the feminists shaking their heads and declaring I’m insane but I ask how many of you have Fall Back Guys. I realized today that some spring cleaning is in order .Delete /Block /Unfollow. When the episodes hit pass me some wine and chocolate and when it passes I will resurface and join the world. Dearest Mr Fall Back Guy ~ it was good while we lasted but I need to do this.



This has to end ... goodbye Fall Back Guy
 

Friday, August 30, 2013

Give me a man ...... A maiden's prayer

 
 
 
A maiden's prayer whispered and spoken to GOD's ears
 
Give me a man that loves GOD because I know that he has spent time in the Master’s presence and understands the beauty and growth in love
Give me a man that has been waiting to find love for a long time, a man that has walked the streets of loneliness and craved the union of companionship, for it is only a man who has had nothing that can appreciate everything I bring
Give me a man that has been heartbroken, whose heart has been stomped to pieces and shed a tears, a man whose heart has been mended by GOD and knows the value of coming out whole
Give me a man who spends time in GOD’s word, a man that can speak into my life from the Author’s words and mould me with the words of HE that created us
Give me a man whose eyes speak into my soul , whose eyes pierce my Miss Independent façade and sees into the fragile woman that I am , whose eyes speak love and quiet jokes that the world cannot hear
Give me a man who has worked hard for all he has , a man who knows the value of setting his hand to the plough , a man that can provide for our family and stand the toil because he is a provider
 
Safe in the arms of love
 
Give me a man whose words are worth their weight in gold ,a man whose promises are not empty but full of wealth and paint the picture and allow it to blossom into an impending reality
 
Give me a man who loves me like Christ loved the church , whose love is pure and comes with no games or props.Whose love touches my soul and leaves me humbled beyond words because of how genuine it is.
 
Give me a man who love moves me to submit and honour him , who loves stops me in my tracks and allows me to marvel and how GOD is the perfectionist in the romance story of my life
Give me a man that will move me to patience, inner strength and commitment, a man whose very presence is a gift unto my spirit and a joy that breaks into song when our hearts connect
 
Give me a man that is not scared of the passion, purpose and fire inside me, a man that will fan the flames of dreams and turn them into realities that change and move nations and bind us into the pages of history.
 
 
Through the storms into the future
 
 
 
Give me a man who will run with me and allow me to carry his fears and sorrows, a man who knows that in my arms and the prayers I whisper into GOD’s ears he is fortified and able to face all the battles in life.
Yes even in the process of waiting, counting and believing LORD birth him through his struggles, birth him through his resilience, birth him through his love for YOU, and birth him in his desire to hold onto faith, birth him into the heart and life of your maid servant .His desire for love is not in vain, his desire for a woman called by GOD is not a lie .Shut his ears from the lies of the devil and hold his heart to a promise of love fulfilled. I am here, his and waiting
Lord thank you for that man , the man that is an answered prayer , the man that will cause my heart to realize why trying was not the reality , the man whose heart beat you have intertwined with mine , whose spirit is calls to mine and who you have got me ready for , whose season is birthed in mine.
 
Thank you LORD for you are faithful and unto that heart whose I must protect mould me , conform me , birth me and allow me to be the gift , the presence , the joy and the soul mate called upon and knitted into my life before time began
Thank you LORD for that man for he will find me when he has knitted his heart with YOURS and he is ready
 
 
A maiden's prayer ..... answered
 

 

 

 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I'm taking a break


I think I will take a break

Just stop doing and trying and focus my energy on something

All this emotional draining and trying is sapping me of my energy

It all seems a little too hard and I’m just about to log out

Seriously being a second wife to a 40 year old man looks promising

I’m tired of trying to be “Perfect Polly “set in her ways

I have gusto, firebrand and boundless energy locked up inside me

I’m not perfect and docile and willing to please

I have a thousand ideas pumping through me

I have thoughts that I sometimes cannot voice well

I’m not bashing everything and calling it quits I’m just saying I’m tired

I want a change of emotional scenery

I want a change from the picture that is on the wall inside my heart

I’m tired of jumping hoops and near heart attack misses

No I’m done!!!

To hell with it all because I am pulling the plug and asking for a break

I don’t want to be in this place all over again

I hate the near misses and what if and maybes

So I’m taking a breaking

Because in the midst of being tossed to and fro

Even I have no clue what it is I want

Call it what you will

Quitting or giving up

I’m taking a break
 

 

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Echoes from voices in the past….


Do you hear the voice I hear ? ....
 

I often wonder if I ask for too much, if I levitate between needy and childish
If in all honesty the words echoed are true, “Your problem is you ask for too much”
These words always seem to echo and replay themselves at the most random of times
Then whip around me in whispers and leave my heart cold and me alone
They speak of unreasonable expectations and unworthy of love.
They corner me and pull up a list of why and how I do not deserve what I want
You see it’s easy to heal but the scars remain and they itch sometimes
They have you remembering what it felt like being hurt
They pull you from the present and present you smack bang to the times those words where said
 
How could it still hurt after so long ? ....
 
Maybe I’m trying to paint the sun green and cover the shine
Maybe I’m trying to turn something into what it isn’t
Maybe I’m too desperate for what is non existant
Maybe I will forever ask for what I cannot have
So I am sitting here pondering, wondering and analysing
Wishing I could run away from myself and my heart
Starve my heart from all it’s desires , starve it from what it needs
Until it knows that it cannot always have what it wants
Then I will continue on the path I have carved out for me, myself and I
Maybe I’m part of that group that is meant to be alone
To allow us to serve our purpose , undeterred by all the distractions that come with relationships
 
Maybe I'm better off alone ....


 
I seem to forever be doomed to wake up realizing that no this cannot be it
I cannot be in this place of pulling my collar up and giving up so soon
Then I remember the circle and the cycle and how it all always spirals back to this point
The point I choose to fight or let go , the moment I just cannot sacrifice myself anymore
The moment that I let go
I’ve been here before, heart bruised, all good intention thrown away, all passion drained
Coming full circle that this is me , myself and I and I guess I need to protect the me that I am
Pull the shutters, close the doors, lock me up and let me lean against the door
Lean and close out everything, lean against it with angry tears and just be me
I think I can finally and firmly ask without hesitation as I fight the tears
“Am I better off alone?” ….
 
Is this to be the story of my life ? .....
 
*Dedicated to all those women tired of trying, tired of being the best , tired of being the one with open arms , tired of always being there , always willing , always putting him first. Don’t stop believing that you deserve the love you seek and let the echoes from the past fade.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Lessons for my Daugthers ....


Blessed with little else than the lessons I have learnt
I will teach my daugthers the lessons that have
Defined me and made me the woman that will birth them
I will simply teach



Pure in spirit but a wiser heart ...
I will teach my daugthers to be wiser and choose carefully who and how they love
Broken and full of fear in order to love is not love
To have the eyes of their hearts open to allow them to one day see
The right not perfect but when the right soul arrives
Letting go of thoughts of the past but walk ahead
Baring no thought to the past and embrace the start of something new
 
 
 
Proudly born an African ....
 
 
I will teach my daughters to be proud African women to embrace their Africaness
To celebrate their rich African heritage the best way they choose to do so
If it's wearing their hair natural  or studying African art
They will grow up solidly embracing that they carry the beauty of Africa within them
That they are born into a generation that is in love with African potential
That as their faces kiss the African sun , they are etched with African pride
That Africa is within them , in their hearts, their voices and their beliefs
 
 
 
The beauty of friendship .....
 
I will teach my daughters about the beauty of friendship
That during the journey through life there are people they will meet who will be there always
Teach them how  to learn and grow without conforming
Teach them how to be in a group but never lose their identity
How beautiful genuine and true friends can be
How they will always be woven into the folds and cloth of your life
No matter the distance or the space in between them
 
 
Laugh a little ...till your cheeks hurt
 
I will teach my daugthers to laugh , laugh from the pits of their bellies
Laugh until tears trickle down their cheeks and they cannot speak
Laugh until they can hardly speak and their cheeks hurt
To be able sometimes in the midst of chaos to laugh and calm their nerves
To laugh alone at the memory of a good time gone by
To laugh out of  joy as each day begins
To laugh because it chases the tears away
 
 
A bed is not the answer to any empty heart
 
 
I will teach my daughters that no price can ever pay for their bodies
That many a man will come their way offering a price of the gold they carry
In a bid to woo and entice they will go to great lenghts to be the one that wins the prize
Gifts , sweet words with promises of forever to cunning tricks
How in the blink of an eye their most prized possession can become nothing
How a few minutes of anticipated pleasure can become a lifetime of regret
How it's always better the wait than the perilous jump off an unkown cliff
How easy it will be to get caught up in the cycle of jumping beds and left
With nothing inside you
 
 
A woman after GOD's heart ....yes
 
 
I will teach my daugthers to pray
To seek guidance from the one force higher than any common sense I might ever have
To hunger for GODs presence and seek after HIS face
To start each day with a blessing on their lips and a song in their hearts
To be thankful for the blessings they understand and do not understand
That when days seem like they will be dark forever there is a breaking of a new day
Teach them that when all else fails and there are no answers - there is GOD
 
Just call her a rebel
 
I will teach my daughters to be rebels with a cause
To break the chains that have forced society to conform and fall in line
I want them to question why ? Defy the odds and dig for answers
I want to teach them to be true to their dreams and passions
Even if it means defending them to me
To speak out against injustice and desire to change the world
To not blame the world for anything but rise up to be the answer
 
The beauty of the perfect shoe .....
 
I will teach my daugthers that the perfect shoe is a weapon for confidence
That it's not the cost of the shoe or the shop that you pick the shoe in
It's the moment that transforms you from being "that" girl to "the" girl
The moment the perfect shoe , meets the perfect dress and it becomes a symphony
The moment you feel your spirits lift and sway your hips
The moment you feel like you are walking on a runaway
The perfect shoe will turn any dull day around , it can do that
 
 
Dance to the beat inside you ....
 
I will teach my daugthers to dance to the rhytm of their own drum
To find the tune inside them and move fluidly to it without a thought
To stand in a room full of people and dance as if they are alone
To be true to themselves and their song
To let the music lift them and allow them to paint a picture with their dance
To come full circle in knowing that just their beat counts
Not to try and dance to anothers tune but to hold true to their beat
And dance like no one is watching
To dance in the confidence of the person they are becoming
To dance in full bloom
 
Just a woman ...trying her best
 
I will teach my daugthers that I am only human
Human with flaws and faults and that we may often clash
That there will be days they will not want to talk to me
Days when they will swear I am their worst enemy
I want them to know that I am human and I love them fiercely
That there is very little I will not do for them
That as they grow my words will make sense and for every day
They hate me , they must know I only set out to be
A good mother and a good, strong , Black woman
That as they live and prosper and become all they have set out to be
I will cheer them on , wipe away tears and hold them close
Whispering that we are only women with a passion that burns inside us
That one day they too will pass on  their own lessons to their daugthers .....