Last night I cried ...

It's one thing to go through life embracing it and loving it but every once in a while , the spring in your step is sprung and all you can really do is stop .
Last night someone I care about and love deeply said some words that hurt me and I cried because it hurt .
I've stopped crying and now even after the fact it still hurts .....





May my words never hurt those I love knowingly or unkowingly . Be careful of how you say things or you maybe hurting someone .





I'm fine trust me friends but the power of words was magnified and I never want to be the one who makes the ones I love cry ....

We lost the PLOT !

I am one person that tends to dig deeper than what is on the surface. Hence over the past few weeks I have had the pleasure of “picking “ the brains of a few male friends and asking them questions that have brought answers and at times disbelief . I'm not punting a battle of the sexes post here I'm merely saying I think we have to relook and rethink what we call normal.
However as I continued digging I realised that when a problem arises there are two parties to blame and both males and females are equally to blame, hence I have come to the conclusion – we all lost the plot.

This is not a post about a battle of the sexes, it’s really about me airing my views and wanting to find answers, ruffle a few feathers and get this off my proverbial chest. It’s amazing how much of our lives we are willing to plan for and how some things we choose to close a blind eye and walk on with life. Relationships are pivotal in our lives and we all have them around us. Now the greatest relationships we desire or cherish are those with our better halves –yes those who we swear we will spend the rest of our lives with. So because I know quite a number of single people I decided to try and find out why so many wonderful people are single? Why there is an ongoing “mud slinging “match between men and women and if there really is someone to blame for the lack of fruitful and growing relationships.

I have learnt that life is pretty predictable and if we can plan how many millions we will make before we die how on earth are we unable to plan who we spend the rest of our lives with? The first question that I came up with was do I know what I want in a partner? Forget the whole world and their problems what about me? Besides the Will Smith good looks, the George Clooney charm etc, etc .Do we all (those who are single) know what we want or need? A great number of us believe we are ready and are the dream man /woman for any person. Hence we are merely waiting to find or be found. Forgive me all men who read this but why is it that men believe that they are at leisure and are “the kings “of the hunt? Flip the switch quickly and what happens to those waiting to be hunted? One friend of mine highlighted and asked the one question that made me lose it , why can women not take the issue into their own hands and go hunting?



I am not sure how many old fashioned girls are still out there but forgive me for sounding ancient but me ask out a guy ? No sireee not in this life time (fingers crossed that there are like minded females out there). Let’s go back to basics how many men are willing to marry a hunter? What about submission and the “natural “order of things? Let’s get a few answers here? I believe women are still looking for men who will take a risk. Yes there is the dread of rejection and the fear of total humiliation after you pour out your feelings to a girl but I don’t think a lot of women are willing to share the risk. If it was good for humankind for the past nineteen centuries why are WE so ready to change it? Why are women being asked to clean themselves up, dress themselves and place themselves in the range of the hunters? Aren’t the men supposed to go after the prey they desire? Forgive me but the 21st century man is acting like a petulant spoiled brat? Who is supposed to hunt and who is supposed to be hunted?

I get passionate when I come across men who come up with excuses about why they can’t ask a woman out.
Gone are the days of she is not pretty enough, slim enough or sexy enough, now it's replaced by she has her own car, she is a CEO, she thinks she's all that. Wake up dear man, when the century turned women realised that they could be more forgive them for wanting more and not sitting back and waiting to be provided for. I'm not bashing the male species here but instead of pedicure and facials, please be a little manlier. Why are women being asked to be calmer and sweeter and almost apologetic for being achievers? Why must they place themselves in the line of the hunters range?
Excuse me but doesn’t the hunter GO OUT AND HUNT .You cannot sit in your castle and smugly sit back and wait for this woman to place herself in your range. The ratio of men to women maybe 2 to 1 but honey we aren’t that desperate.






These little tired excuses are played out and the reality is what you really need, you will have to go and search for .Why am I so passionate because to find something of value you have to search for it and no all together woman will come looking for you. Check the view what are you seeing lately? As a self confessed JESUS FREAK I will and always go back to basics, the WORD. Albeit men's beliefs' that women at a certain age think they have an expiration date when they get to a certain age that they get desperate to be married or have children - these are merely your perceptions and not ours . So let's all stop mudslinging and get a fair answer -any takers? Ever heard the phrase single, sassy and satisfied? Why do men think that our lives revolve around them? Who’s to BLAME? Women are fed on emotion, they feed on ideas. They are designed to seek companionship and their final fulfilment is when they become a part of another -why because GOD made it that way.

Of course they crave marriage they are built to cleave to the man, they came from the rib they can‘t deny it even if they tried. BUT because they have sought careers and more they are to blame for side lining the man and telling him that they could sort it out themselves. Yes they caused half the scale to tip, the results is what you see now. Women have it so figured out that they do not know what it means to depend anymore, they don't know how to call for help .They don’t know how to be sensitive as they were told to man up, they have forgotten how to be women .So much so that they figured they could get into the mind of a man and control him (Act like a lady think like a man) but why think like a man if you both think the same then what? I'm not glorifying myself in the process and making myself a Saint but I have fallen victim to this and through the years that I tried to think like a man I lost out on being a woman. Women don’t cry anymore because they think it's a sign of weakness.



Get off your soapboxes ladies you have proved it you can be just as good as any man, now put down your stones and go back to being women. We depend so much on ourselves that we forgot how to depend on GOD. We are so stubborn and so ready to prove ourselves that we prove ourselves even when it does not count or matter.

I'm not punting women being barefoot ,pregnant and at home but I think as women we forgot that in GOD's plan you are not meant to work as hard as you do ,you are not meant to run as far as you do ,GOD created a man to look after and over you .

Read this and begin to think back, begin to relook at your life man or woman we have lost the plot.

Then again maybe I’m just the only one who lost it !

Only a Black Woman

Sometimes you get crappy spam and sometimes you get good spam .Good enough spam that you want to record it in cyber memory .I don't know who did the original of this but it's was too good not to share - and don't worry I won't ask you to forward it lol :





ONLY A BLACK WOMAN
Can work full time while finishing school, raising
respectful and intelligent children, be active in
the PTA, be the pastor's secretary, and the choir
president and a make it all seem effortless

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN
Can make a R10.00 out of 15 Cents

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN
Can go from the boardroom to the 'township and "keep it
Real" in both places.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN
Can slap the taste out of your mouth.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN
Can live below poverty level and yet set fashion
Trends.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN
Can fight two struggles everyday and make it look
Easy.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN
Can make a child happy on Christmas Day even if he
Didn"t get a darn thing.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN
Can be 75 years old and look 45!

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN
Can make other women want to pay plastic surgeons
top $$$ for physical features she was already born
With.

ONLY A BLACK WOMAN
Can be the mother of civilization

Did Ya'll Hear me?

*Author Unknown

100 Truths

100 Truths! I need to clear my head so I decided to do this!!

1. Last beverage → Rooibos
2. Last phone call → Greg Chilowa ....funny Zim colleague .
3. Last text message→ I don't know the number hmmmm
4. Last song you listened to→ Ubhukosi by Joyous Celebration
5. Last time you cried→ Last week Sunday during pre service prayer with my ministers

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice? → Yes ,have vowed never to do it again
7. Been cheated on? → Yes it hurt
8. Kissed someone? → Yes ,yummy (I love kisses)
9. Lost someone special? → Yes it hurt me to my core
10. Been depressed?→ Yes
11. Been drunk and threw up? → Never –Never been drunk and damn proud of it

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black
13. Orange
14. Brown
15. Azure

HAVE YOU:
16. Made new friends → Yes lots
17. Fallen out of love → is that possible
18. Laughed until you cried → Yes esp when I’m with certain people.
19. Met someone who changed you → Yes, she inspires me everyday Sykll.
20. Found out who your true friends were → Yes
21. Found out someone was talking about you →Yes it was good talking about me
22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list → No wouldn’t mind to though ,lol
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? 95 %
25. Do you have any pets → Nope I’ve never loved pets
26. Do you want to change your name → No
27. What did you do for your last birthday →Spent the day @ The Urban Sanctuary Day Spa it was fantabulous.
28. What time did you wake up today → 05.05 am ..arggggh
29. What were you doing at midnight last night → sleeping very soundly
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for → to get married, get my new car and have children lil mini me’s.
31. Last time you saw your father→ In January
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → a car, I want a car –it’ll make me more efficient and more effective.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → yes he’s an Account Manager.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → Shallow men from our church, I do not love my job right now, this damn aircon that makes me sneeze constantly, stupid consultants .
35. Most visited webpage →Twitter, my blog, Yahoo.com, XBC Jump-off and Autotask
36. What's your name→ Norma
37. Nicknames →Normy ,Nomskie,Diva ,ZimBlackRose
38. Relationship Status → Single ,ready and willing to mingle
39. Zodiac sign → Virgo
40. Male or female or transgendered → very female
41. Primary → KKPS
42.Middle School....n/a
43. High school → Regina Mundi Girls High
44. Hair color → jet black
45. Long/medium/short → Medium Length
46. Height → 1.64 ISH...
47. Do you have a crush on someone? → I think so ..lol
48. What do you like about yourself? → My smile ,sense of humour ,my understanding of things ,my confidence ,my go getter attitude.
49. Piercings → ears ,every outfit needs a pair of earrings.
50. Tattoos → none
51. Righty or lefty → Righty

FIRSTS
52. First surgery → thigh surgery fell from a 10 storey flat and my thigh bone snapped in two .
53. First piercing → ears @ 7 I think
54. First best friends → Phillippa @ Coglhan Primary
55. First sport you joined → swimming
56. First pet → I hate pets.
57. First vacation → Lower Gweru ,kumusha
58. First concert → Leonard Zhakata do not even ask why baffles me right now.
59. First crush → J.M. lil primary school hottie

RIGHT NOW:
60. Eating → Nothing just had a plum
61. Drinking → water - 1 of my current non negotiable 8 glasses of water a day.
62. Already missing → my bed
63. I'm about to → request an update from a consultant
64. Listening to → Joyous Celebration 8
65. Thinking about → getting my butt in gear and emailing Dimension Data.
66. Waiting for → today’s gym session and that man...

YOUR FUTURE :
67. Want kids? → yes 3 if possible.
68. Want to get married? → oh yes why not share this wonderful thing called life with someone so dear.
69. Careers in mind → ITIL guru

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
70. Lips or eyes → Eyes of course
71. Hugs or kisses → I’m a combo girl
72. Shorter or taller → Taller way taller
73. Older or Younger → Older
74. Romantic or spontaneous → Combo
75. Nice stomach or nice arms → Strong manly shapely arms
76. Sensitive or loud → Combo
77. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship, I do things for the long run, no hit and run.
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ none of them

HAVE YOU EVER :

79. Drank hard liquor → Nope never
80. Lost glasses/contacts → Yes my contacts
81. Had sex on 1st date → No that’s trashy ...lol
82. Broken someone's heart → I don’t think I did it intentionally but it hurt him a lot
83. Had your own heart broken → Yes but somehow I got over it.
84. Been arrested → No ,I’m a good girl
85. Turned someone down → Yes so many times
86. Cried when someone died → Yes
87. Liked a friend that of the same sex? → Nope I don’t see any of my girls like that.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
88. Yourself → YES and in the infinite power GOD has placed in me.
89. Miracles → YES because GOD does the impossible.
90. Love at first sight → I don’t think such a thing exists more like lust at first sight.
91. Heaven → YES
92. Santa Clause → Come on I’m not 4 years old
93. Kiss on the first date? → Nope I’m a lil old fashioned at times
94. Angels → YES as servants

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → YES he’s very interesting.
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Yes that was not good @ all.
98. Wish you could change things in your past? → At times I do then I realise that I wouldn’t be me right now if I hadn’t experienced them
99. Are you posting this as 100 Truths? → Yes right onto my blog.
100. Where are you right now? The office

by Kim Addonizio....

Give me the strongest cheese, the one that stinks best;
and I want the good wine, the swirl in crystal
surrendering the bruised scent of blackberries,
or cherries, the rich spurt in the back
of the throat, the holding it there before swallowing.
Give me the lover who yanks open the door
of his house and presses me to the wall
in the dim hallway, and keeps me there until I'm drenched
and shaking, whose kisses arrive by the boatload
and begin their delicious diaspora
through the cities and small towns of my body.
To hell with the saints, with martyrs
of my childhood meant to instruct me
in the power of endurance and faith,
to hell with the next world and its pallid angels
swooning and sighing like Victorian girls.
I want this world. I want to walk into
the ocean and feel it trying to drag me along
like I'm nothing but a broken bit of scratched glass,
and I want to resist it. I want to go
staggering and flailing my way
through the bars and back rooms,
through the gleaming hotels and weedy
lots of abandoned sunflowers and the parks
where dogs are let off their leashes
in spite of the signs, where they sniff each
other and roll together in the grass, I want to
lie down somewhere and suffer for love until
it nearly kills me, and then I want to get up again
and put on that little black dress and wait
for you, yes you, to come over here
and get down on your knees and tell me
just how good I look and mean it !